Amazing!

It's 4:15 and I've just entered a practice room after studio class, fully intending to practice for 30 minutes until my audition. Orchestra audition that is. But not just any old audition, it's the concertmaster audition. A little bit more weighty than regular orchestra auditions. I'm in the practice room, playing away when I hear a knock on my door. I opened the door to find my violin professor (who also happens to be one of the two audition judges...) who informed me that it was time for my audition. Now let me give a little background. The conservatory has very (very)powerful air conditioning and is always absolutely freezing. This is horrible for the fingers when trying to practice so I've taken to storing a huge green sweatshirt in my locker which I throw on over whatever I happen to be wearing at the time of practice. I was wearing this green giant when my prof came to the door. Underneath this green sweater I was dressed up for the audition, as I should have been, but who could tell?? I was a hot mess guys, really. How could I have lost track of time? I went hurrying out of the room with prof/judge on my tail only to run into the ORCHESTRA CONDUCTOR (also one of the judges...also looking for me...) who was waiting in the foyer. Goodness. Can you all say FlLUSTERED??? So that wasn't the best way to go into a stressful audition and I felt that I played it horrible. Almost broke down on my way out after I had completely bombed the sight-reading. Feeling like a bit of a failure I "stormed" out of the conservatory hoping not to run into anyone I knew so I wouldn't have to talk.
The room mates were great. They still loved me even though I felt awful. They didn't believe I had bombed it, even when I sang my own rendition of my horrendous sight reading attempts...
I checked the post board to see if the seatings were posted and there was my prof again who announced that there were five (yes five) concertmasters this semester and I (yes me) was one of them.
*speachless* (let's have a moment of silence...)
Okay. God is good. What else can I say? Yes He would have been just as good if I had gotten a bad seat too. But I'm realizing that He really does want to bless His children and give us good things. He's not intent on punishing us for our mistakes just so that we suffer. It seems like the Lord has given me another chance. Sounds dramatic I know, but I'm not sure that it is.
I'm determined to use this blessing for His glory and honor. I know I cannot succeed without Him and wherever my life shows success should be pointing to Him and His Awesome power. It's Amazing.

????

What just happened? Where did all taht come from? Utter confusion!

zoning

I think it's funny how this blog has only been viewed like eight times and yet I continue to write in it...
So I'm zoning and I have nothing good to say. I was wondering though. Why does it seem so hard to find a friend who feels about you the way you feel about them? For example, I have a friend who I think of calling first whenever something happens that I want to talk about. However when something happens to this friend, I am choice number two on the phone list. This isn't bad really, just a little tiny bit disapointing at times. Or there are other friends who think of me more that I think of them. That just makes me feel really really bad. So how does this work? Will there always be these unbalanced levels of friendship? Not that the friendships are bad or anything like that, but they are jsut confusing and occasionally frustrating too! Is it okay to look for that one friend who feels about you the way you do about them? Does that kind of friendship exsist? Of course it does! I've seen it! So the question is, how do I become a better friend?
...you live and learn...

be still

Being around all these freshmen brings back memories of Freshman year and the blur that was my life as I remember it. Parents leaving me in this unknown land. Man I am so glad that time of my life is over with. Of course it wasn't all bad, but why is it that our brains often tend to more vividly remember pain? Or maybe that's my brain? Is it different with different people? Like the whole glass half empty or half full thing? Perhaps.
Oh these bright eyed and bushy tailed freshmen. Eyes wide open, radar up, "Oooo I wonder if that could be my future girlfriend/boyfriend?? Husband? Wife??". Every open floor turns into a huge event where one group tries to impress those of the opposite sex. They get dressed up for all meals and study in the Stupe where no one can truly focus on getting any work done. And yet you gotta love it. It's life! People felt that way about us when we arrived here but that didn't stop us did it? Just because an experience has already been had by some people doesn't mean that it is over and done with and no one else will ever has that experience. That's good. And people move on,but there is always someone there to take the place that they left empty.
So Raashon is quite enthusiastic about me trying this hip hop thing and sort of becoming the next Miri Ben Ari. The next Hip Hop Violinist. We'll see how that turns out now won't we. Ooooh the possibilities.

is it now?

I think randomivity should be a word.
So I went on a zip line last night (or is it a rip line? I dunno) I had to climb this tree and then jump off holding onto this handle which swung me sailing through my orchestra conductors back yard and straight into the tree that the other end of the rope was tied to. My legs just weren't quite long enough to touch the ground before I got to the tree so I could try to stop myself. So I cut my hand but didn't even notice cause I was laughing so hard. Now it hurts though. Oh the things I try to do to keep up with the boys...football throwing, basketball shooting and one-on-one, death-by-speed frisbee throwing and yes, zip lining. I think it's a complex I developed over the years because of having so many brothers...who knows.

been a while...

...since I seen you smiiiiiiile. Haha. That is a song right? Gee, it has been a while since I've updated this thing. Johnny, your comments made me happy.I don't think I had ever seen some of them before tho...we might have to fight...
College has once again spread its loving arms open wide, welcoming me back into the picturesque harbor that it provides...and when I didn't come running willingly to be embraced by it has snatched me by the neck with a cane (like in the old movies when they wanted to get someone off stage...) and dragged me into its bone crushing squeeze. Theres....no....escape... Okaaaaaay okay so it's not that bad. But a little dramatic license never hurt anybody right? riiiiight.
Some of you may be thinking, "but I thought she loved school and didn't want to come home just a few months ago??? What's the delio?", I know I know, but I fell in love with home again. Those people are great, family and not, I love them all and my heart wants to be there. The grass is always greener over yonder so I am determined not to waste the time I have here even when my heart is only half here now. Sound like a good plan?
Speaking of plans. Anyone have any good suggestions how to hoard off this terrifying rush of couples being created? College is killer for this stuff! I think I am behind or something, I don't want all that just yet but I seem to be one of the only ones...what is the world comming to????